nana johari

December 2, 2016

it eats itself: the strays, the rebels, those who are lost

  


Some people can feel so responsible for others' lives or how they lead their lives. Correct me if I'm wrong, this is how the standard, the highly regarded path goes; 

Elementary, secondary, high school, college and graduate, get a real job, get married before thirty, have kids, work, have grandchildren, grow older. Maybe it's now considered common to experience a divorce in the middle of that. 

So here's the thing. 

They get worried when you do something else, even unrelated people who have nothing to do with you. They feel concerned when you do something that strays off The Path of How Things Should be Done, and they tell you that you shouldn't. Especially if you are a young adult, because what do you know? Let's be real, you probably don't know better anyway. 

But do they? 



This is what I believe:

I believe people have the right to explore. People have the right to move at their own pace. People have the right to live their personal life however they want as long as they don't directly hurt/harm/trouble others (harming themselves is debatable). They shouldn't be bogged down with this illusion that ultimate happiness can only be experienced through marriage or having kids, through settling down (traditionally speaking). There is no ultimate happiness probably. Happiness itself comes in different forms, and not one is better than the other.

It usually comes from a good place, but that doesn't mean it is not potentially damaging. It is a choice, but it is commonly being treated like a must. It makes people afraid to go off the path at any point because it is implied that it is wrong to do that. They'll be pestered with the standard and those questions like 'tak kahwin lagi?' and all that jazz. It breeds insecurity, low self-confidence, stress, sometimes recklessness and a string of bad choices. 

Sometimes people don't do something because they don't want to. And no, there's probably nothing wrong with them. Even if there is, it is probably none of our business.

There is no one correct way to live.